the only easy day was yesterday.

cute right? haha he's Joyston, if i got the spelling right ;x and he's 2 & a half years old..
went down to the centre this morning with the ocs ladies, benson and fish to talk about the coming year of activities.

hm, well it was pretty "routine" i guess but today i got to play also with the nursery kids. its quite therapeutic, in the company of the children. perhaps i'm close to burning out, going to the centre makes me feel better always =)

something in the discussion reminded me of something again - human greed.
well, i am not referring to wealth, but in this case, of our life in general. In the army for example, there were times that in Brunei, that chlorine-"tainted" water tasted sweet, combat ration mightily delicious and the occasional instant noodle was like heaven sent, much like the iced-water from the dirty igloo where you'd see black particles, sand and the occasional dubious looking hair.
desperate or the isolation from civilisation too long perhaps, the bright lights of the city in Singapore is so beautiful, the place so comfortable upon the return. Heck, even the girls suddenly became hotter. Looking back, would i still look at the dirty iced-water the same way we savoured it during the topo exercise?

Humans are and should be adaptable, my dad mentioned. you can be in the 'shitiest' circumstance and take it, then when life is good, enjoy it.
I believe there's some truth in that, i may not have done well in summer term, nor managed the work in marketing well and the fact that i am still single.. haha are small issues.. i think the key is if i learnt anything from them. i would like to go to school again without giving myself the pressure to get the grades but to just enjoy school.

being single? hm.. ok lah. i can't really do much with that though it's so great to have someone else who cares. the day will come perhaps.

well, i think i side-tracked above, lol.. but the thing is, lets be happy with what we have first. before striving for more. others can make you unhappy and only you can make yourself happy.
life is too short for too many regrets.

learning curve

sometimes i wonder if i could make it in the real world, where it matters.
this current issue, i dont think i handled it well..
well perhaps its not in our scope to do it, or perhaps i am just chao keng. misunderstandings? perhaps again.. i felt a need to say no.

so many things that i need to learn.

first things first, i need to manage my time more efficiently and to take things more lightly. i am quite sick of having to worry if need more quotations, whether the designs are ok, can make it on time? whether the workload will be too heavy for the rest?

"I shall never fail my fellow comrades by shirking any duty or training,
but will always keep myself mentally and physically fit and shoulder my full
share of the task, whatever it may be."

and whether i did my job properly?

too short le

lta Lionel passed on tuesday at hendon pool. it seems again, not too long ago that he talked to me in the old muslim cookhouse at the abandoned bmtc. a nice person, he really is.

how ironic when the time we'd see so many of 5th coy not during ICT but during a wake of another comrade. it is i guess, another reminder on how fragile life is.. nothing really matters now does it? work wise.. especially, suddenly it took a jolt like this to wake me up telling me that what i have in my mind does not really matter that much.

i need to rethink about my priorities. for that, thank you lionel.

"..silver wings upon his chest,
he is one, of Singapore's best.."

havent been updating but above's some pics from last saturday's outing to the Zoo and one from the exchange talk at Admin building, quite sotong on that day man, went to the conference hall in SOA to find out its empty :X haha...

haha almost finished the postcards le.. this is a sneak peak of whats coming up! haha. series 2 of 4..

"rain drops are falling on my head"

ah. just woke up. hahah, the guys left at 7am.. before i collapsed on the bed again.
except for the work, its almost like a holiday =)

i want to school with Roy, and he taught me how to use Photoshop ;x. we redid the postcard and the poster.. haha much like Photoshop 101 man, it does feel good to know how to use such a program like PS, else like relying alot on others in the team if i dont.
hehe, now must learn more and pick up more on excel, else like QM, will struggle man. :D

going to school later for a talk regarding exchange programs. as much as i would like to go on one, i would also not like to go on one.. still have some problems stepping out of the comfort zone.. ;but well, lets see how the talk goes. and yup! TGIF, hahah tmr go zoo with the kids liao, hahah .. wah seh, really looking foward to it man, and the Ben & Jerry's ice cream too... aha!

its here...!!

Finally, the world cup is here and so's 17th June. soon.
it didnt seem too long ago, sitting on the same sofa and talking about the world cup with my dad when it was held in japan & south korea.

4 years has passed. geez, so fast, its kind of scary sia..
alevels, army, yr1 of uni O_O
but now i feel tired, originally i was looking fowards to the 17th of June as edmund would be back and it will also be the last activity at Child @ St11.. and it would be held at the Zoo! haha.. quite long nv go there le, since sec2/3 ? wow.. haha and yup, when i thought a break is coming soon, haha we'd need to raise fund for the next year of activities... ;|

well, it is meaningful this 4 years had been, and i believe it would be so for the next 4years.
but i just feel sapped as of now. i want to go to the beach and feel the breeze against my skin again.

please.

青春不留白

i came across her blog today again.
the girl who died of cancer, yet you can still sense the cheerfulness and strength from her words.

yet, certainly i have not been through as much as her, i feel almost drained out already.
I am fortunate that life has been kind to me by and large, i do not have to worry about meals, school work's fine too, i feel healthy. ( but i think this is a lie, haha)

yeah man, even the relationship with friends are quite good. but i find that i am so tired that i do not know where i'm heading again.
Vivace's something i wanted to help out with but taking over the reins of marketing during this period i feel, has been exhausting.

i wanted to use june and july to rejuvenate myself and to learn something new, diving would be a priority as its only 1week or thereabouts, then to learn golf. but maybe i am bogged down and/or lazy, i have not done anything for them yet..

sorry, if i am sounding incoherent in this entry but theres alot going through my head at the moment. i went out for a spin just now, passed all the expressways that i hardly drove or been to, how great is it to feel disconnected away from everything else for awhile to just focus on the motorway and the drive.

"where'd you go... ?"

'i hailed her taxi in the rain'

hohoho!!! first time blog in school. hahaha, just finished the annexes and its raining outside sia.
quite cold now.. hm, well yes its the holidays but its still quite strange to see SOB so empty, where'd it was bright, buzzing with activity, its quite dark today, cold and silent.

the rest still not here yet, a bit tempted to go down stairs to get my ta bao. haha, but had quite alot for lunch, so i guess i'd be skipping the snack. havent ran in 2 weeks after straining my ligament le, thankfully, its feeling alot better now.

oh yeah, just talked to baowei, wah, ahha they going to IT Show sia, hao xin fu !!! wo ye yao, haha.. but am sure it will be crowded. -_-, going down with yuming this saturday though, haha think go in come out, will become prata sia.. had a bad experience last year.

well well, time to go liao..

byebye